songs for you, my past

The sky is grey like it's been crying
After leaving you
I haven't been any freer

The sour air
I can smell the distance between us
An ending that drills into my heart
Cannot be stopped like breathing

The yellowing diary in the drawer
Dries up the memories
That smile
Is summer

Yours and my past
Has been forgotten in clockwise
The love that has had a lack of oxygen
The careless tears are superfluous

I know you and I are not wrong
We only forgot to step back
Pledging sincerely with the promise
Yet failed to get what I want by time

I know we are not wrong
It is only that we will be better off letting go
The most beautiful love
Continue it in my memory





The white windmill
Turning quietly
The real feeling
Distant like a dreamland
The sweet seawater
The complicated tears
I look at you smiling in a silly way
Holding my hand
I hope this dream does not have an end
It's good that we walked to here
Because I don't want to finish walking this happiness too fast
It's a shame there isn't a blessing
When I'm loving you I'm not lonely
I won't let you cry again

I carry you walking till the end
Can we not go back?
You hug me tightly
Saying you don't need a promise
You say that if I'm by myself I'll be freer
I don't understand what you're saying
I won't let go anyway
I carry you walking till the end
Can we not think too much?
Can we hold hands?
Get to the end a bit later
You say we shouldn't see each other again only for a moment
Thank you for letting me hear it
Because I'm waiting here forever

Tens of thousands caught in a gridlock

i was reading through The Star online and this news report caught my attention "Tens of thousands caught in a gridlock" it happened along the Sprint highway that i normally along to college by bus from my place.

Ironically, the stretch from the Damansara toll all the way to KL were closed due to the Le Tour De Langkawi race in KL from KL-Genting Highlands.and many motorists got stuck in the traffic due the closure during the morning rush hour to work.imagine the main highway is being closed.that's a disaster cause i travel along that stretch everyday and the traffic there is a real bitch.the closure must had made a traffic like shit.worst than ordinary.but i couldn't imagine any worst of it.

Holy crap!!look at how bad the jam is..this is real ridiculous la.luckily i didnt travel that stretch that morning.if i were to have exams or class that day, i would have just forgotten about it already.cause i know i wont be there in time.confirm!!

many people complained that there was no sufficient information were given to motorist about the closure and alot damn tulan with it.why not tulan lor??they didnt give enough information to the public and only can say sorry.everytime anything happen they will say sorry and any inconvenience in muchly regretted.normal la. Malaysia truly Asia horr...if any inconvenience is muchly regretted, why go ahead with it?you know you gonna regret it then why go ahead with it??sohai stupid people.

but there's another interesting excuse given by the co-organisers about the road closure.this is what he said:-

“The races normally start at 10am, after the morning peak hours, but today’s race began earlier as we needed to reach the destination in time for the Friday prayers,”

wow...friday prayers.

well my dear friends, Malaysia is full of stupid people.thus, you have to anticipate stupid reasoning, comments, etc =) this land is beautiful.cause we got alot of caring and "smart" people.

friday prayers.i wonder if they'll ever close the road again for saturday prayers

big slap to the Barisan Nasional

it must be a hard beginning and a hard road for the Barisan Nasional (BN) in the new year of 2009. The BN candidate Wan Ahmad Farid Salleh of UMNO has lost to PAS candidate Mohd Abdul Wahid Endut read http:

if this goes on..im sure that the government will be toppled soon.and again there has been rumours going around that more and more BN candidate will be crossing over to the opposition.

i wish...

singaporean videos

i admit that i'm a i big fan of singaporean productions la.be it drama's, movies, videos, etc la. anything produced by singaporean must be watched la.not because it's famous or anything la. it's just as hell great production by them over the years.and they really like beat malaysian productions flat out weii..you see la im also talking like one of them liaooooo.anyway during my past time i've just got myself updated on www.xiaxue.blogspot.com la.nothing interesting or new tho.she's dubbed as the female version of kennysia.com in singapore la aka singapore's blog queen for reasons i wonder why those kiasu's interested in la.

but you must watch this link here.it's a combination of short videos produced by clicknetwork.tv and here's the synopsis of whats in there la..lazy wanna type la.so copy paste their worthy material here..


Chick vs. Dick

Paul Twohill of Singapore Idol fame and Kay Kay from Deal or No Deal 2 go head to head in a battle of the sexes show where YOU get to decide the winner! Who's the better drunk? Who's the better flirt? Who will eat fire hot spices to the point of death just to outdo the other? Watch and vote!


this is one of the series they have which i really find them funny and hilarious.i laughed my stomach and heart out like wtf wei...even the guy staying next to my room got freaked out came knocking to my room asking me "eh you ok ar?" you should watch it la.damn worth it and you wont regret it la.plus plus plus it features this chick here call Kay Kay and this brat named Paul.duh what kinda singaporean name duhh..and also in this webpage features other productions like Crack Comedy and Road Trip.

if Media Prima is reading this, btw, i just wanna tell you that your sitcoms are so not hilarious and funny la..just because you gotta get through the censorship board wtf.so that explains why Malaysian productions no standard la.see in the end we need the help from the singaporeans to produce our own local drama la..damn sad rite?

anyway here's a preview of my fav episodes from Chick VS Dick. watch it once and you'll know understand my point.btw this is one of my favourites so far.enjoyz =)




do expect alot of "fucks" and "oh my god" and ewww and what ever la.cause these singaporeans eng educateds are like that la.not the so good standard of KL gals la.or whatever.

so enjoy watching folks!!www.clicknetwork.tv

The Beginning

2009

the new year is coming..2009 is coming

my mum told me once.those born in the year of the rabbit will have better luck next year.im looking forward towards it.oh darn its been a fucking year of mishaps and bad lucks.everything i do this year doesn't seem right or all well.

shugggssss...oh 2009

what do you have install for me??i just want 2008 to just go by.i wont want to look back no more.so much of bad memories.

but the upside is, i've met alot of new people in 2008.many beautiful people.

these people i call them friends for life.and i look forward to a better year...2009 here i come!!

bye bye ol' miserable 2008!!

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year!!!!

freed

Raja Petra Kamaruddin is freed from ISA dentention. Thank God. There's still freedom of speech and justice in Malaysia i think. Syed Hamid should step down as Minister and be charged in court for framing the recent 3 ISA detainees.

monday blues

im posting this nenek blog from my library while listening to miss independent - Neyo
how lame is that la. haha

im running away from reality.the reality that exam is drawing nearer and nearer. days seems so far by and im here wondering and pondering about the future. what the future holds and have in stall for me? im beginning to wonder whether exam excellence is the key to a brighter and greater future. im wondering whether what am i doing now promise me happiness and gloryness. the fact that im deep down lonely here with no one to spare with, im wondering whats the point of having a bright future without having anyone to share with.

whats the key to a happy life? is it being a successful person? is it being great and super smart in everything? i don't know. the fact is im still confused and still fuck-ed up now.

the fact that she's now miss independent. she can go on with her life without me after what has being said about me. and im here struggling to face reality and meet ends.

being the new student representative of the biz council add serious obligations to my life. the fact that im already bugged with so many probs in life, im being given yet another responsibility to shoulder on.

i need her. i want her. but suddenly the big barricade stand in between us stop us from being together. oh please remove the barricade away la for God's sake.

i'll be away

wheww!!104 views!i don't know who's viewing my blog. but im surprised lol.

this is a public service announcement

i won't be able to update my blog in the longest time possible.

this is due to:

1. i don't have an internet connection at where im staying at now =( so this makes me a dwarf. i cant surf, i cant facebook, i cant blog, i cant live a normal life!!
2. my finals and assignments are coming really soon in the next few weeks. my finals is very soon. so i wanna concentrate and get the best results available for grabs!
3. i dont want to update anything right now.until when circumstances has changed
4. im just lazy to update.thats the truth =P

so take care out there. dont miss me too much ya =)

ciaozzzzz

dilemma

damn. i should might as well call this post as an emo post lar =( yesh yesh im emo so? i don't care what you people think. i type what i wanna type and its my fcuking right to do so. if you don't like reading what you're reading, then u may please fcuk off thankiew =) =) =)


anyway, im in a dilemma.im stuck in between 2 female. 1 is the one im chasing and on the other hand is my ex =(

shall start with the one im chasing. she has a bf =( and they always argue =) but sad lor. they always together like magnet. its like inseparable liao. i thought they wont last, but now it seems they're gonna last =( right now there's no real development between us. we're more like best friends that tease each other at every single little thing. i like her personality. but day by day i come to realize that it'll never happen. so im trying my very best to forget my plans. and just leave it to everything around us to decide la. if we're meant to be then we'll be together.

on the other hand, is my ex. i told myself again and again to forget her. but i cant forget at all. when im all alone, i will think of her and everything we had. i'll feel down and lonely and empty in my heart. i just wanted someone to be by my side physically. i cant accept a gf that's not by my side all the time PHYSICALLY. to do things together, to talk face to face, to look into each other eyes. i just cant. plus so many things that won't allow us to be together. her believes, her religion, her family, its just too many. i don't know where it'll end. its just too difficult for me and her. she said everything is secondary. but what about me? these matters are primary important matter to me. i just lost hope and trust and strength to continue. i tried many times but i can't. i just cant move on.

how?? =(

19 Sept 2008

today, i didn't felt like doing anything. I did not have the urge and mood to do anything at all. looking at my things and schedule.i just don't feel like doing anything about it.i didn't want to care at all.ughhh...self ignorance and laziness struck me again.i just lay down on the bed turning all over the place.

my watch shows it's 9.30.the alarm was ringing every 9 minutes. i shut it off. and then i kept thinking to myself.should i attend today's FIN320? what will i miss? i calculated the number of times i've missed the tutorial.omg..its coming to the 4th time! i thought to myself "i should not miss another class of his" and there. i lay down on my sweet comfy bed thinking and thinking.making a decision so easy to make yet so hard to decide. watch shows the time.10.30am. i was lazy enough to force myself out of bed. so there, i decided not to go.and tried to go back to sleep. i cant. and i look back at the time. it's 10.45am. my last chance to get prepared for class. nope. still insist myself on not going. i then went back into sleep. finally!! not until my mum called me to ask me some personal stuff. and that bugged my sleep. i couldnt go back into sleep.

so from 11am, i was thinking about many things to myself. issues like why Anwar hasn't taken control of Putrajaya. and related issues about it. and then i was giggling to myself thinking about what Guo Rui said about Anwar. Such a joker!! he has very good sense of humour rofl! then was thinking about what should i wear to Genting later. and try to imagine what will happen in Genting.


didn't realized time went by soo fast. Suddenly it was already 12.30pm. i lay down for about 15 minutes and got up to get myself ready and dressed up. by the time i was ready it was already 1.45pm. Then i left "home" to withdraw cash and bought Nescafe. Supply of Nescafe went dry =( boarded the Metro bus to 1u. damn! Bus fare increased yet again! this time its an increase of 10 cents. was originally 90cents for a single trip to 1u. although it was 10cents but it's worth complaining. how can lar?10cents lei =( anyway shall talk about price increase and cost of living in the next post. reached 1u and boarded the bus straight up to Genting.By the time i reached the cable car station it was already 3.30pm

On the way up, i look around the secenaries around.nothing much has changed since my last trip up. that was about 6months ago. feels like yesterday. and all our memories came back into broad day light. i felt so much warm and love. i remembered every moment we had up here. those were our happiest days together up there. if you're reading this, i remember and will always do ya =)


anyway back to macro. i never knew singaporeans has poor knowledge and information about malaysia. sad case man. plus singaporeans call genting as "jenting" wtf. since when genting mortified as "jenting"? screw you singaporeans. oh what? you gonna ask Badawi to catch me and throw me into ISA? you're not even sure whether he'll be around till next tuesday anot.

straight went into casino.big deal. my second time in casino. big deal. police officers have to check my IC to verify my age. big deal. i look young to them. big deal. i never ever gamble in casino before. big deal. IM GONNA GAMBLE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. BIGGGG DEAL!!!! this is gonna be my very first try in gambling. i wanna taste what is it like to gamble and why some people get very addicted to it. i wanna understand the psychology of a gambler. i wanna understand the heart and mind of a gambler. i wanna fucking understand why they have to commit suicide gambling! BIG DEAL!

before giving a try out on gambling, i went with my buddies to look around in the casino.i spotted a few games where the high rollers were busy gambling. they dont bet in small amount. they bet in big amounts. BIG DEAL! i saw an old man, prollie in his 60's, betting his cash of RM1000. and he lost it.just like that. no hard feelings. walao eh!KNNCCB!! that money can last me for a month ok. cover everything some moree!! wuwu!!!

suet ni gave me a RM5 chip to try my first luck. ever heard of this saying? gambling for the first time will guarantee you to win money. i didn't believe it. so i place my bet on 4. i don't what game is it. is selecting your number. then you'll just the roll the ball into the selection of numbers. POCK!! wah!!! won RM10 lee!! BIG DEAL!! was damn excited! i tried my luck again. bet on difference numbers this time. 9 and 6. both didn't hit. heart starts to feel the pain and uneasyness.

i wasnt all that happy and satisfied. went for another few more rounds to observe gamblers. in the end i decided to change my precious RM50 into chips for gambling. i started with this.

Played some gambling game which i dont know what is it called.its basically choosing the number of your choice and then just roll the ball onto the numbers. when the ball stops at that number, it's either your choice number is there or you lose. well, i won my first round for the first time.

have you ever heard of a saying that goes "if you're gambling for the first time, you'll get lucky" i believe every single word of it. it was my first time gambling and i won!i won RM10!! BIG DEAL!!! wakakkaakaka

then i tried my luck at the same table again for a few times. but i didn't won any since then =( and then my friends and i went to another table. this time is i played a game where you roll the wheel of fortune. minimum bet = RM5. i placed my bet on the RM10. and hit!!i won RM50 from RM5. BIG DEAL!! i'm damn fcuking happy!!


i wasnt satisfied. greed and self ignorance hit me! now i understand why gamblers cant live the gambling table once they start winning. i seriously felt it was my lucky day. i went on gambling. from RM75 to RM25. damn! i wasn't satisfied cause i lost all my money on the same fcuking table! i didn't believe my luck! i played over and over again...until this

=(

so i went down genting and commit suicide =( =( =( =(

no i wont be dumb la. if i committed suicide, i wont be posting this post lar!

but the temptation was running high once i started winning. now i can really understand the feelings of a gambler. their willingness to do anything to win. it'll take you at all cost no matter what happens. you're willing to borrow from ah long, gamble all your life savings, commit suicide etc. very sad =(

i went back KL with a heavy and sad heart. but i learned a valuable lesson.

Don't gamble xD

my favourite song

foo fighters-pretender

916

The countdown for the take-over effort of the government has begun. The next 24 hours will be an anticipated time for all Malaysians to see what's gonna happen to the BN government. Will they stay in power? or will Malaysia have a new prime minister? what are likely events that's gonna happen in the next 24 hours? surely, the next 24 hours will be closely watched not only by all Malaysians, but also by the whole world. The wave of changes is blowing our way.

This is it. The day has finally come. The day to be anticipated by all.

What will happen? We shall patiently wait and see whats next

a lost hope

On friday (12th Spetember 2008), 3 people got arrested under the ISA.detained includes Raja Petra Kamaruddin of Malaysia Today, Seputeh MP Teresa Kok and Sin Chew Daily reporter Tan Hoon Cheng. There were detained for reasons the government feel can threatened the unity of Malaysians. and also the news where Tan Hoon Cheng reported in Sin Chew Daily last month where an UMNO politician, Ahmad Ismail, made a racist remark calling Chinese Malaysian's as squatters and immigrants that don't deserve any equal rights.read more about it on Kenny Sia postings about the story here


now lets do a comparison on the 4 people "wrong-doings"

Raja Petra Kamaruddin - Made headlines for remarks and secrets on top government officials and reveal secrets about their wrong-doings.also made seditious comments and other issues that touched the sensitivity of Malaysians.He made those comments on www.Malaysiatoday.com, which was subsequently been blocked.


Seputeh MP Teresa Kok - accused of an appeal to a mosque in Kinrara to lower and soften the loud speakers during prayers as it is too loud


Sin Chew Daily reporter Tan Hoon Cheng - Reported the controversial remark made by UMNO politician Ahmad Ismail calling Malaysian Chinese squatters and immigrants during a political ceramah in Permatang Pauh.

Ahmad Ismail - called Malaysian Chinese squatters and immigrants.provoked the anger among chinese with his seditious remark but still refused to apologise for the remarks saying that what he said are facts.watch video below.

Ok.now here's the deal.The Malaysian law defines ISA as the followings (based on Wikipedia)

Section 73(1) Internal Security Act 1960: "Any police officer may without warrant arrest and detain pending enquiries any person in respect of whom he has reason to believe that there are grounds which would justify his detention under section 8; and that he has acted or is about to act or is likely to act in any manner prejudicial to the security of Malaysia or any part thereof or to maintenance of essential services therein or to the economic life thereof."

Section 8 ISA: Power to order detention or restriction of persons. "(i) If the Minister is satisfied that the detention of any person is necessary with a view to preventing him from acting in any manner prejudicial to the security of Malaysia or any part thereof or to the maintenance of essential services therein or the economic life thereof, he may make an order (hereinafter referred to as a detention order) directing that that person be detained for any period not exceeding two years."

Who should be detained under ISA?

VS

VS

VS

A blogger for making seditious remarks and postings that will threat national security?A Member of Parliament for requesting the Muslims to lower down the speaker volume during prayers?A reporter reporting racial remarks merely because she was just doing her duty as a journalist?orrr....a politician making racist remarks calling Chinese in Malaysia squatters and an American Jew??

Im sure by now you all know what has happened over the week to these 4 individual.but what saddens me is this. A reporter was detained under ISA just because she was reporting a news story of a politician making racist remarks. and Member of Parliament voice out concerns by residents in her constituency over loud speaker.Clearly, these 2 individual are just doing their job.just like you and me.and the best part is, they didn't cross over the line until they can cause disruption and racial fights in Malaysia.and no one make a big fuss out of what they did.

On the other hand, a blogger has kept on constantly making remarks that has caused disturbances and uncertainty in Malaysia.Although many of the things he state were true in reality, our government denied this allegations and gave him warnings over and over again.until one fine day, he got caught and the government gave him free food free lodging. Although he went over the line, it must be remembered that what he says is true.and many things his stated has evidence.you don't all over the place saying things that has no evidence and reliability right?

and finally, a politician in Penang has made remarks calling chinese squatters and said we dont have any equal rights here.well, he got suspended from his own poilitical party for 3 years.and still he wanna tua lampa on the news saying he wont say sorry, saying that the chinese should apologize to him bla bla bla.well...lets go back to the definition of ISA

Section 73(1) Internal Security Act 1960: "Any police officer may without warrant arrest and detain pending enquiries any person in respect of whom he has reason to believe that there are grounds which would justify his detention under section 8; and that he has acted or is about to act or is likely to act in any manner prejudicial to the security of Malaysia or any part thereof or to maintenance of essential services therein or to the economic life thereof."

Clearly, he has created in a serious manner prejudicially causing disturbances and racial anger among chinese that could provoke the chinese to fight against him.His remarks has threaten Malaysia's security by causing a potential of another May 13 incident.

and also "any part thereof or to maintenance of essential services therein or to the economic life thereof."he made the allegation that the chinese has been controlling and manipulating the economy when he said we're like the American Jews and demand us to stop doing so and to give back the rights to the Malays.and also, he has accused all chinese political parties for bringing up the matter and call us "trouble-makers" even worst he has spark the anger and dissatisfaction among the chinese. and he ask Gerakan and MCA to leave Barisan Nasional if they don't like what he said and claim what he says as "the truth, reality of life" well, Badawi should know well that if really Gerakan or MCA leaves, Pakatan Rakyat will entice them to join them.and when this happens, they get a bigger majority in the government and can topple them. but sadly, Badawi is....smart ^^

so..who do you think should be thrown in to ISA and be given free food and free lodging?after all, this free food and free lodging are from the taxpayers money.

how fuck up is this country?

Malaysia Boleh

Malaysia Truly Asia

ISA anyone?

a lost hope

my love will get you home

dear..if you're reading this, i dedicate this song to you.

no matter what has happened, i will always love you..altho it never meant to be.

bad day

why is every one suddenly turning against me?whatever i do or say, they'll bambu me.

its really a bad day for me.

but i'll me stronger.

lamp post

i've been thinking alot lately abt something which i just realized.

you see, i have a few best friends in my circle of friends.and the thing is, some of them are girls.pretty one's.for some reason or another, we can be just best friends.bestest of friends and not more than that.when i got to know them, i wanted to go after them and in the hope we can be more than friends..you know what i mean.

but in the end, we are in the end better of as friends and this best friend(s) of mine find their love of their life.and the love of their life become friends with me and the both of them becomes close to me.and what's more sad is that the 3 of us will hang out together.either to have a good meal, to go somewhere short or even to the movies.

its being happening to me for years now.from days in secondary school to uni.i don't know man.is it weird?or is it fated?what word can describe my dilemma?

many girls i go after to tackle in the end proof to be fruitless and instead of us becoming couples, we become best friends.

it gets even weirder when they introduce me their bf's.and when their bf's are not around, they talk to me all the things about their bf's.from the good to the bad things.they tell me many little dirty secrets.and i don't know whether they feel comfortable telling me this..or how.somehow, i find this thing really bizarre.

and the weirder thing is that they invite me out to follow them out.just the 3 of us.me, her bf and herself.its been happening this way too many times.

i had it.i done being a lamp post.

its time for me to move on and find a real girlfriend.no.not the one i had before.i mean a real one.

anyone would like to offer yourselves?

please? xD

bananas in pyjamas

just came back from a charity movie screening at the curve.watched Wall-E and paid RM15 without popcorns and drinks..was a charity movie held by Help's SBC.im part of the charity event and played a role in finding sponsors for the tix.
the thing is this.this bunch of people from sbc are pure banana's i.e. they cant speak mandarin.and while the whole time i was with them, i couldn't find the click with because the jokes they made among themselves are silly...or i find it not funny at all.
and we had lunch at kim gary's. and they kept on making silly lame jokes which i somehow dont find funny.

for example, phillip made a joke about coke steamboat.and everyone was laughing their heart out except me zzzz...i don't find it funny.was it funny?or was it an inner joke?

the thing is...im getting far and far away from the english-speaking world.is just not me anymore.yesh i speak english.but i don't speak english all the time...not anymore.i find speaking mandarin makes thing more lively and its funnier to crack a joke.and its way funnier that way.

speaking perfect english is not my type...no more in my blood.i don't know why.its just not in me anymore..is it a bad thing?or a good thing?

oh ya..there's this girl Ed tried to create a conversation with me.but the sad thing..she's a banana.and i have a blank idea on what topic should i pick on her.

sad eh?

banana's in pyjamas

before and after-the ramblings

i came to kl in search for happiness, better future.a better life.i want to revamp my life.and add new meaning to it.i hated Malacca.i was never happy back then.personal issues bugged me.and i hated life completely.i always ponder to myself "why am i not like them?why they deserve better than i do?why this?why that?"

i was always jealous the way others life was.i wasnt all the time happy and satisfied with what i had.i was always grumbling and rambling about what i didnt had.and i was this poor pathetic geek back home.i always thought that academic excellence was the key to everything.i thought and hope by doing well in studies, i could attract others.but i was wrong.and i was proven wrong.the guilt built in me was enormous.i left my balls hanging.i was useless.i hated myself
KL was a bliss.no its a bliss.i love it.love it to the bits.so then on, i begin my life here in tarc.i decided and told myself, its time to turn over a new leaf.no one knows me here.and it was what i needed.i want changes in life.i want it soo badly. everytime i want to change, i fail to do so.people around me knows me and easily predict what i wanna do.

it was too perfect for me here.i met alot of new friends from all over malaysia.and they accepted me for who i am, not what im not. they knew my flaws and my downsides.but they never mind.im glad they did.they gave me the opportunity to change into the person which i am today.and im now even accepted with an open arm by everyone.i dont know why they do.but whenever i meet some one new, they have always accepted me for who i am, not what im not.i dont know why.but somehow they always do.i find myself and my circle of friends alot in common.from what we talk to what we do.i loved it so much.from then on, i never ever will go back to where i came from.
the people i know back home was different.for some reasons, they never liked me.or even accepted me for who i am.they were picky. and i hate them.i hate the arrogance and agony they have.to those who are reading this, you know who you are.im talking mainly those in the front classes.maybe you people think you have all you want in life, you feel you dont need a friend like me.and that make a whole lot of difference in me today.i want to say thank you to all you haters out there who hated and disguised me before. because of you, i am what i am today.and i love the person i am today.

the only reason i can think of why you disguised me is this, because all english educated-s have a set of thinking.you think that you're well educated in the english language and the masters of it.you think the whole world belongs to you.and the world evolves around you.you think you get what you want.and you can only mix with those the same level with you.bite me.love me or hate me.i only ever wonder.if you faggots can ever mix with someone that doesnt speak english.she or he are the same like you.good in studies, chinese etc.same.just like you.but the language barrier stands between the both of you.what will you do?will you go on and befriend he/she?i doubt so.i met an old schoolmate of mine, PR not long ago. and we were exchanging stories of our lifes with each other.i realized some things never ever changed.you see, i knew this girl, M. she was a banana.and still a banana.because of a non-mandarin speaking background, she still have the same circle of friends.up till today.she never changed.or maybe her perception has never changed.whatever it is, i find her pathetic.and sad.PR told me she has very little known and close friends in Monash.PR always spot M walking alone in campus and around the area.i dont know why.maybe she's anti-social.or what other reasons i dont know.but sad thing.

*banana means you're a chinese outside.but an english ed inside you.have the physical features of a chinese outside, but no knowledge of mandarin language in you.just like a banana.yellow outside, white inside.


what ever the ramblings is, i find people i know back home never changed.just like the way they are 3/4 years ago.and ts sad.damn sad.

anyway, back here.my social life has evolved and expanded tremendously.i meet new people from all walks of life.and some are interesting ones.and i had more female friends then male friends (pun unintended =P) and some of these are close ones to me.ones i'll treasure most.they were there for me when i needed them the most.friends i trust and befriended.i choose friends of quality, not quantity.its sad that some people i know choose to have friends by the quantity, not the quality.i dont understand what the fuck is wrong with this people.


my social life changed.i love every moment of it.i start going clubbing on a weekly basis.pocket was burning.every week i'll be at places like sungei wang or times square.i'll be at klcc on a monthly basis.and i was out all the time.going places and doing things i never thought i would have done so.i started to enjoy the lifestyle.going for classes, activities after classes and nite life.it was pure bliss.mamak session was never a miss.looking at hot chicks was the favourite pass time of all.TARC has the most amount of chinese hot chicks all over KL.dont believe me?come here and have a look for yourself.after all, seeing is believing.
the downside was, results started to fall.from A's to B's and C's.my pocket was having a big hole.and by the end of the week, im dead broke..just like a poor church mouse.i had late nite sleeps..as late as the wee hours of mornings.i gain fats and i became a fat bastard.i became an alchoholic.

i had the best times in TARC.i even met the love of my life through a friend here.although in the end, our relationship didnt work out.say all you want haters, shut up.

till one day, i fail my final paper on the final day of exams in the final semester of my diploma course.no doubt i was cursing and pissing on the poor quality of the education system by tarc.honestly, tarc sucks when it comes to its education quality.i had lecturers giving lectures in mandarin, the accounting lecture was a bitch..she doesnt even know her debit and credit well.i had the lamest subjects...who needs communications in english and interviewing skills?my balls are bigger than that.the lecturers are of poor quality, the head of department said this "you're paying RM6000 for your diploma, what kinda quality you expect?harvard eh?? just accept the quality we give you lar..." tiu =.=" there's so many things i'd like to complain here about how tarc sucked.but the life i had during my TARC days were gifted.i enjoyed every moment of it.

but things started goin downhill when i failed the final paper.i had to resit that particular paper, causing me a bomb.i couldnt continue my studies to a degree level.i wasnt granted any offer to pursue my studies until i completed my diploma programme.i had to go to all private unis around kl to ask the options in stall for me.but it all turn badly for me.i actually wanted to continue my degree in either Metropolitan College or Taylors.even they didnt recognize the diploma from tarc.how fucked is it right?

anyway, while waiting to clear my final paper, i venture myself out into the working world.i did some telemarketing job at a small company before i changed job to selling credit cards in Citibank.the experience i had with citibank changed my views and perceptions forever.troughout the 5 months i was with Citibank, i begun to learn alot of things.i see things how corporates see.i learn and experience a fulfilling one.and that changed me.and i was earning alot.enough to dine at fine dining restaurants, to buy a nice car...perhaps a honda-city?i love my job.i almost didnt wanted to continue my studies.but word of advise from a senior manager says that having a degree will change my future prospects.and i listened to his advise.

and then, i decided to continue my studies in HELP.maybe i needed help, thats why i choosed HELP to help me out.ok lame joke failed.and then here come a new set of life.a fulfilling one..

to be continued...