dilemma

damn. i should might as well call this post as an emo post lar =( yesh yesh im emo so? i don't care what you people think. i type what i wanna type and its my fcuking right to do so. if you don't like reading what you're reading, then u may please fcuk off thankiew =) =) =)


anyway, im in a dilemma.im stuck in between 2 female. 1 is the one im chasing and on the other hand is my ex =(

shall start with the one im chasing. she has a bf =( and they always argue =) but sad lor. they always together like magnet. its like inseparable liao. i thought they wont last, but now it seems they're gonna last =( right now there's no real development between us. we're more like best friends that tease each other at every single little thing. i like her personality. but day by day i come to realize that it'll never happen. so im trying my very best to forget my plans. and just leave it to everything around us to decide la. if we're meant to be then we'll be together.

on the other hand, is my ex. i told myself again and again to forget her. but i cant forget at all. when im all alone, i will think of her and everything we had. i'll feel down and lonely and empty in my heart. i just wanted someone to be by my side physically. i cant accept a gf that's not by my side all the time PHYSICALLY. to do things together, to talk face to face, to look into each other eyes. i just cant. plus so many things that won't allow us to be together. her believes, her religion, her family, its just too many. i don't know where it'll end. its just too difficult for me and her. she said everything is secondary. but what about me? these matters are primary important matter to me. i just lost hope and trust and strength to continue. i tried many times but i can't. i just cant move on.

how?? =(