Tuesday, July 29, 2008

ru guo bu se wo de jiu bu se wo de

she has a bf still..and i thought its not gonna last.but it seems going the opposite direction.its getting stronger and stronger day by day =( i wont stand a chance, no matter how close we are.

why am i having the feeling that love isnt meant to be for me to feel, to appreciate, to cherish, to hold on to, to be in it..to fall in love all over again?is it being destined?are we fated of not to be together?

i thought they would break up again.and at that moment, i will steal that opportunity and catch her into my arms..no not catch..grab her into my arms.and i will not repeat the mistakes i did in my previous relationship ever again..but i dont stand a chance.i know it.we all know it. aihh.im not desperate.am really not desperate.ok maybe i am.just a lil ok??maybe im feeling all this because i wanna fill the loneliness and quietness im going through.but i wont that to another person as an excuse.




Out here in the quiet of the night
Beneath the stars, and moon
We both know we've got somethin' on our minds
We won't admit, but it's true

You look at me, I look away

I wanna tell you what I'm feeling,
But I don't know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now
I'm afraid that you might break my heart
Oh why should anything so easy ever
Be so hard to do
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling,
And to say that, I love you

I practice all the things that I would say
Line by line, every word
I tell myself today would be the day
But everytime, I lose my nerve

I look at you, you look away

I wanna tell you what I'm feeling,
But I don't know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now,
I'm afraid that you might break my heart
Oh why should anything so easy ever
Be so hard to do
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling,
And to say that, I love you

Why?
Why do you turn away
It must be, you're afraid like me
I try, but I can't pretend that I,
Don't feel for you, the way I do,
Can't you see

I wanna tell you what I'm feeling,
But I don't know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now,
I'm afraid that you might break my heart
Oh why should anything so easy ever
Be so hard to do,
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling
And to say that, I love you

I wanna tell you what I'm feeling,
But I don't know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now,
I'm afraid that you might break my heart
Oh why should anything so easy ever
Be so hard to do,
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling
And to say that, I love you

(whisper) I love you


i hope one day i could say those words to her.maybe 1 day.and i hope that day will come soon.

Monday, July 21, 2008

2 months

its been 2months since we've last met.and i hope you're a happier person now.things has changed huh?ever since our last meeting, i've been busy abit here and there.it was my finals.was in a dilemma back then..but thank God i had her by my side.She gave me strength and gave me lots and lots of encouragement and lift up my spirits.Such a good friend.you should know her.. but I guess you will never get to know her.




I've finally understand my true self, seek my true identity.The feelings i had was amazing.the best i ever had...perhaps.Maybe it was all fated round and round.But you don't believe in fate. Remember you said that i'm your first and last?those words melt my heart so much everytime you said it.

Its 2 months now.how are you doing?wow!time flies by so fast.and so much has happened.I dont even know where to start.but things are different now.its soo much different when we're together.Its been much quieter and lonelier now.Maybe im used to telling you every single little bitsy details about everything and anything.remember how i told you about my journey back to Wangsa Maju?That was long.. Altho it all happened within 30minutes.But now, i've got no one to turn to and talk about.So i went there.I walked around.

The other day, I went up to the place we used to go everytime. Just wanted some day off going somewhere far far away alone.I didn't know where to go. We used to decide our destinations together. And you said "i'll go where ever you go"



So there i was.going to all the places we went there.It brought back all the memories of yesterdays.It felt good and sweet.You used to earn a living there to remember?and i will go up every now and then to meet you and stay overnight.Those were the days.Even Ah Yang said i'm crazy going there.And i laughed quietly in my heart.The last time we went was when??my birthday?tho was a simple celebration, i will cherish it all my life.I love what we did on my celebration.Sorry that i dozed off when you were singing my birthday song.Sorry that i dirtied your white pants.


But those days are now gone.Time cant be chased back.After all has happened.Whats done cant be undone.I guess the glass has fallen and broken into pieces.It broke into so many pieces, I dont even know which is which.I cant fix it.neither can you.what happened?im feeling miserable thinking about you.I wished you could one day come back into my arms.And I promise you at that moment, I'll never let you go ever again.

But guess its the end of everything to me.


I miss you dearly.Pls come back =(

Thursday, July 17, 2008

better in time

why at this moment im still missing you??what am i still thinking abt you deeply?why am i having thoughts abt our past and all our memories??why??i don't get it..im not sad when i miss you.i dont have that heartbeat anymore when i think of you?i dont have that warm feeling anymore when i think of you.i dont have any happiness when i think of you.i always talk abt the bad and sad things we had to my friends...i still dont get it why..why am i still thinking abt you?why am i missing you??you said i wanted the break up soo much.yesh i did.why am i asking you questions like "who are you with?", "you have a new bf?"why?? why why why??!!

im confused you know.i really am..i just wanna get myself outta of this.i just need to get you outta my mind.i just need too...

now i know why..caused im used to be with you..for the past 1 and the half years.my life has completely changed.my life has now turned upside down..when im with you.now that you're gone.. im feeling the emptiness in me..the loneliness looming in my heart and soul.the sad feeling just came up all over again.its different now..not with you.

i can never be with you anymore.this relationship wasnt meant to be.God sent us the message earlier..this relationship was never meant to be.He told us to stop it before it gets deeper and deeper.and now its this deep.deep like a well..its hard for me to climb back up.no one can help me out...its dark and cold in here.i feel the loneliness and darkness eating me slowly..

we are both the victim here.im sorry for everything.im sorry we couldnt move on.the timing wasnt perfect.sacrifices cant be made.for circumstances we know and we can never run away from it.no point denying it.its like a coin with 2 face.a tail and a head.we have to choose either one.we cant be in the middle of it.its the ultimate answer for our woes.no point running away and avoiding it forever.if not now, its the future.its hard to be us anymore.so much hardship and difficulties.we were never meant to be.

i had love you so much for the past 1.5 years.so much of love and tenderness.i loved you.but is never the same now.never again.

the war is over.the fight is over.lets make peace and there we see sunlight again..

this is song is specially dedicated for you.

with love...

Friday, July 11, 2008

Loreal Colour Trophy 2008-backstage

Usually, people go to events getting invites or have to pay em to enter. What more, if its a fashion show!!By Loreal!!it was the gala show by Loreal to present the awards to various actegories, ranging from best make-up artiste to best hair stylists. and it was the award nite (10th July) But my case was different.. Normally i go to such events paying hundreds of ringgit and in the end i'll be broke.dead broke =( but this time around, unexpectedly, i get paid to serve diners and customers who attend the event. Though it wasnt fun, but it was really my first time attending such an event, a fashion show.




I was replacing a friend who weren't able to be the waiter at the banquet there, so i gotta help her out lor..it was definitely my first time being a waiter, serving in th F&B service.Whats more serving in a grand event like this!!i was soo nervous i nearly pee in my pants =P jk.i knew expectations were high, especially in such a high class event like, a fashion show summore horrrr =( Anyway, i needed the cash and besides, i got nothing else to do that day. So i just went to get some experience and kill time.

The finalists of the L’OrĂ©al Professionnel Colour Trophy Award 2008 were awarded that night. Deeemed as the "Oscars of Hairdressing Industry" it was sure a fantastic nite out. Damn fun!! People from the hair styling industry were present. Since it was an event by invitation only, only those selected were invited, mainly from HongKong and Taiwan.Maybe because its a nation flooded with people who know how to "style". i mean come on.look at the way the dress and how they set their hair style.not like malaysians xD anyway, it was full of unique people.I was the lucky one manage to spot artiste like Angel Wong (the emcee), Miko Au and afew more. What more, there was this artiste from Taiwan sat behind the table i was serving. i was serving table 84. The event i was serving was held at the KL Convention Centre by the way. Many large events were held there before this.

But the good thing is this
  • I attended a fashion show for the first time
  • I get to know the "secret" of whats in your food and the dirty things they do to your food, especially in such a grand event in a luxurious, high class place like KLCC
  • I didn't do the serving most of the time, instead i watched the fashion show =D
  • i get paid RM61 for doing nothing much except serving water and watched a fashion show by Loreal for free =P
  • I stole some goodies from there =D
  • I met new friends
  • I'm gonna reveal of the rudeness and attitude by the KLCC staff - dont sue me please =( im just telling the truth horrrr =(
The bad thing is
  • My arms were so damn pain i couldnt lift anything heavy that night
  • Being a victim of racist
  • I didn't get to snap many photos during the catwalks and most of the event =(((
  • I didn't get to snap photos with celebrities =((((( double spam!
  • I know i'm not fit to be in the F&B service (thank God)
Me and my hsemates left our hse at around 2pm. Before that i gotta get myself a pair of new black shoes from 1u. The dress code as a waiter was a pair of black pants and black shoes while the uniform were provided by the management. we were given vouchers-for meals, security (wtf), and salary at the end of the day. Arrived at there around 3pm. The staff entrance were beginning get packed with employees entering the work area. What shocked me was that these "employees" are from various uni around kl. Maybe because they hire those studying Hotel Management course or something like that, for experience purposes. What even shocked was that they even hire Bangladeshis and Pakistanis who cant speak English at all as waiters in such a grand event.wtf?!

Anyway, after doing th registration and all, we then proceed to the grand ballroom. We were lead into an elevator, so huge it looked like we're in Star Wars spaceship ready for war.

=P we really looked like this in the elevator, except without our weapos and our yeng-ness laR. the elevator fitted more than 50 ppl omg!!!we then walk ourselves into an area in Hall 1 to be briefed and "trained"



It was a gathering to divide our locations, positions, duties etc. It was like a gathering of foreigners there. except we were there to become waiters, not to be deployed home =P ABout 80% were foreigners and malays. Not many chinese there, and most of the chinese, us, are from colleges. It reminds me of Nasional Service, standing there for 1hour, listening to the supervisor shouting and ordering at us, being treated like a slave, we were called names like "anjing", "pukimak" etc. It was harsh and it wasnt pleasant. I almost lost my patience and went off. They treated each of us as if we were some kinda animals or servants, giving us orders to move here and there.

Anyway, after the "briefing", we were brought to the grand ballroom and went to our respective table for serving. It was already 5.30 pm i think. And we have to stand there doing nothing while listening to the last minute practise and rehersals by the participants there.

Later, we were called by our respective supervisor in-charge, Loges, to get more briefing. We were told that it was a chinese set dinner. Hell i know whats a chinese set lar!!Anyway it was practically chinese style dinner, with heavy gigantic plates serving chinese cuisine, chinese style or serving and decoration, everything chinese style. Even those who attended the event was chinese..mainly laR.i only saw 2 malays that night.

chinese style decoration of the table settings

Thats my table, table 84 im serving xD

sadly, the table was far from the catwalk stage =( i only can see em on the gigantic LCD screen =(
what a lousy position. Anyway, since i was bored, i took some pics of the ballroom and got caught by one of the supervisor. Now, he is one cibai racist. He yelled at me rudely saying "eh cina!u simpan u punya hp.jgn ingat u banyak kaya arr!!jgn diri macam u artis Hong Kong bodoh" WTFFFF!!!!!!!!!!blardy racist!!!rude, immature, uneducated son of a bitch!what?u dont have a handphone is it?what?i put my hand in my pocket makes me look like a HK artiste is it? Cao Hai arr!!!whats your problem wit me being a chinese?!blardy racist!Becareful when u see me on the streets..i'll grab you and beat the hell out of you till you begg me for forgiveness and mercy for being a chinese!blrady asshole cao hai!

Anyway, lets not spoil the mood ok? Its Loreal Colour Trophy nite =) it's party nite baby =) this are the pics i manage to get while i was waiting for nothing =.= enjoy




And this is the view of the Card. For better view, you can visit http://kirayamato04.wordpress.com/category/loreal-colour-trophy-2008/ for more pictures of the card and other goodies that night. wished i had them with me =(


what do you think about the invitational cards?I think its pretty and cool..the designer did a very good job.

Here's the menu for the night


By the way, they charge triple prices for the drinks. A can of Coke cost rm6.50, a glass of wine cost rm15..money making business banquet =.="

Later, we were trained awhile on the dishes and what should be done for the 'chinese set" dinner. We were thought of how to cut the fish, what to do, this and that larrrr...soo boring and lame. Then, i took afew more pics.


By then, it was almost 6pm. They were doing last minute rehearsals and all. It was expected that the guests will arrive between 6-8pm to have drinking session outside the foyer, while at 8pm the door will be opened for guests to come in and take their seats. 8.40pm to start serving food.
We had our dinner break at 6-6.45pm. It was basically lousy canteen food. Since i cant eat beef, i only had rice and chicken. And that was lousy. Me and my friends slowly took our own sweet time to have our meal and chat xD.

After our meals, we then proceed back into the grand ballroom. By then, the lights were switched off. It was dark. I cant even see the table clearly. We were told to start filling water into glasses on the table. So i walk in and out the kitchen several times to take and refill the jug of water. My leg hurts.Once everything was done, we went back to our tables and stand there till 8pm. Since i was bored, i just watched the video displayed on the LCD screen over and over again. I was bored...really bored.My leg hurst too. I got to know that this event was sponsored by Shu Uemura, Melinda Looi, EH!, Female and Nuyou.


By the time, i think i've watched that video for about 15times i think. And at the same time i was listening to the emcee rehearsing backstage. By 8.15pm, the guest started entering.


Since then, i couldnt take anymore pictures. Why???because they switched off all the lights throughout the event. it was so dark i couldn't even find my table =.= Throughout the night, i tried to relax abit, while watching the catwalks and fashion show. I purposely did a bad job xD in between i took some photos lar..but it was bad of quality caused it was dark =( anyway here are the photos i've manage to take. enjoyz!!




If you wanna watch the video, click
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5BUZx2tRdbI
sorry cant upload the video here yet. Got some probs xD

Now, if you really think food served to you in luxury hotels or grand events like this is clean, think again. Think carefully. Ask yourselves. DO YOU REALLY THINK THE FOOD SERVED IS OF HIGH QUALITY AND CLEAN?haha come on!!please lar!

This is the food being prepared by the chef during the event. I saw a rat running around the kitchen. There were a few malay waiter i caught digging their nose and touch the food. Some hungry girl got so hungry she took a bite of the food to be served. I saw an irritated waiter spit into the soup. Worst of all, they use dirty and used glass to serve cold water. Poor guests...victim of unhygienic and filthy conditions.I got really shocked and disgusted by their actions..what on earth is this la?well..its Loreal Colour Trophy 2008.



enjoy =)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

malacca an official world heritage site


woooo!!Melaka a world heritage site!!this means those UMNO ppl gonna earn more money which they define them as "commision"

semester break

im having semester break now.Originally was 4 weeks but its gonna be longer than it is, which is 7 weeks.semester break started earlier which is during the final week of exams, plus the original 4 weeks and 2 weeks..i consider this 2 weeks my holiday coz during the 1st 2 weeks of the semester there's nothing much to be done. The 1st week is just goin for normal lectures and signing up for subjects and the 2nd week is lecture week. all in all is only 7 weeks.

the 1st week was used to juz chill about and do nothing..hang out with friends in kl and met old frens in melaka. the second week i started doin some work with Maxis. Damn it laR!!go do sales job in shah alam *drolls eyes* i hate sales persons job!!wtf man!go around cafes to cafes interrupting ppl having their meals =.=" not my kinda thing ya know. and the team were targetting malays coz they're easier to con and lure haha!!GOOD marketing strategy, but still this job not my kinda thing. altho it pays well, but its damn embarassing for me to do...so guess wat?i gave the lamest reason no one could ever though of hahaa!!i said my room in kl got fire and short circuit, my room burned! AHAHAHHAHAHAHA who could have ever believed laR??so i asked the team leader to drive me to the nearest ktm and went down kl sentral back home xD damn lame rite? ahahaha

anyway..after that i found another job. Its working with Adidas at Cineleisure Damansara The Curve hehe xD. I started on friday from 1.30pm-10.30pm. Damn it!!yet another job i hate and dislike...guess i got attitude problem and no discipline laR =.=" i hate standing the whole day..my feet hurts and swollen =( the 2nda day was busier as it was the beginning of the Malaysian Mega Sale Carnival xD there were so much of customers window shopping in and out. You know la window shoppers hehe xD go in test the shoes and t-shirts, and then didnt want to buy it and just walk out =.=" wasting my time go in the store room climb up the racks finding the sizes. That day my feet swollen even more. i felt numbness and it got jammed. I couldnt feel my legs and the same thing went on sunday and monday.

But smart Adrian got up with yet another lame reason to quit xD I applied for half day leave, saying that i felt feverish and coughing. I went off at 3pm and had my lunch at Italliannies xD feeling damn happy i left =) Alan called asking me for Dota hahah!today i called the supervisor of Adidas, Aaron saying that my medical report wasnt good and i needed to go Singapore to do further check up xD how lame and how fake right?? =P anyway he believed me and said "hao, ni ge yi bu yong zho liao la" but.."ni de xing xui mei yo na de dao lor" wtf???!!!! "ing wei ni wei yo jiao ni de IC haiyo ni de zao bian" =.=" eh what kinda fuck up company is this ar??i worked and suffered because of you..now i wanna claim my RM113 also cant issit?? CCBKNN!!!cannot pay cash is it??must bank into my RHB account eh??damn lame right? anyway im gonna meet him on Friday and fight for my cash xD no way im gonna give into him and budge into him!!

Anyway i got another temp job laR...doing banquet at KL Convention Centre xD RM7 an hour hahah...gonna start from 4pm-11pm on Thursday. Being intro by my housemate, Ken from KDU. So i dont know what should i expect laa..but its gonna be standing again =.=" damn i hate standing laaaaaaaaaaaaa =.=""

to be continued